Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Mounting Precious

Just in: Pressure is increasing on Julia Gillard to call a leadership spill amid unrelenting pressure from backbenchers pressuring for a release of the pressure valve holding back potentially explosive leadership pressures.

Sources close to the ABC say talk is growing about an imminent shift of three non-aligned backbenchers to the camp considering a vote for Kevin Rudd in order to silence ongoing media speculation about the release of the imminent pressures.


"We are all fed up. It is time to talk Turkey, or Vegemite if you prefer," said one source, who declined to be named in full and who asked to be called just Kevin, but the ABC decided this might provide a false impression about the scale of the pressures building inside the pressure cooker so would prefer to keep him nameless if you don't mind.

Julia Gillard, meanwhile, refused to be drawn on the mounting speculation, putting a brave face on the pressures growing more intense in the blistering powderkeg that is Canberra day and night, but more so during the day.

"It is a tinderbox waiting to explode," said another senior unnamed Labor figure, whose name might have been Anthony, but let us call him Kevin for the purposes of this exercise.  "It will happen. And if it does not happen, we will regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of our lives," he said, indirectly quoting the final scene of Casablanca.

It is understood by the ABC (though not fully) that the pressure may come to a head, or approach a head, or approach the approach-path to a head within the next days or weeks or months or years, which we calculate provides the basis for 250 episodes of Q&A.

"You just cannot predict it. It is that huge. It is life-changing in its pressure, its unrelenting pressure," said another backbencher, who will remain unnamed because, to be frank, we just made up that quote because it seemed to fit.

As always, the ABC (conscious of missing it last time) is sinking all of its resources in covering this monumental story as the pressures go on mounting and mounting and mounting forever more. We will be bringing you updates through the day and night - in your alarm radio and kitchen radio and car radio and iPhone (or Android if you are one of those) and Twitter and The Drum and ABC24 and the worldwide web, popularly know as the Information Superhighway. Nowhere is safe from the mounting speculation.

Later this morning, Fran Kelly will interview Michelle Grattan about her discussion last night with Laurie Oakes about his interview with an unnamed senior Labor figure, who wished to remain anonymous but we will call him Kevin for the purposes of this story.

We also will be replaying Sunday's special "Inside the Insiders", in which we eavesdrop on the private thoughts of Peter Hartcher and other gallery gurus about the unrelenting and unforgiving pressure placed on journalists by the public, who just do not understand:

"We told them the challenge was on, but did they believe us? Mmmmm? No, they did not believe us. 'Beat-up', they said. Well, neagh, neagh, na-na-na. See! It was real! Take that reading public! That's why WE are the professionals and you are mere bloggers and tweeters, without pinstripe suits."

Also, don't forget 730 tonight and Chris Uhlmann, who will be interviewing Barrie Cassidy about his exclusive interview with Tony Abbott about how the unrelenting pressures of the leadership crisis have placed our entire democracy in a powderkeg that is set to blow at any minute and destroy life on earth as we know it. But not Rome, Tony added.

That's all from Canberra, but briefly in other news - the biggest revolution in education since Whitlam and a report by someone called Gomsky, Gonski or something (wasn't he in Anna Karenina?). Oh, and the euro has collapsed, spelling the end of the single currency experiment; Athens is inflames; tens of thousands are dead in Syria as the country erupts into full-scale civil war and Ricky Ponting just quit.

37 comments:

  1. Well done Mr D. You've survived the mounting pressure and hit the bullseye.

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  2. Hilarious - I am pretty sure that Mark Scott will be on the phone with a job offer shortly or perhaps sometime.

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  3. "The Australian" haz been counting the numb-bers, this is what they de-juiced from 103 Labor caucus members:

    GILLARD SUPPORTERS: 52
    RUDD SUPPORTERS: 43
    UNDECIDED: 21
    DON'T GIVE A HOOT EITHER WAY: 22 MILLION

    http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/s3435269.htm

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  4. Excellent satire. Oh no wait it's true.

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  5. Great summary of the intense political drama being played out in the Canberra pressure cooker. If only these journalists had some facts, their writing could be submitted to the West Wing producers.

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  6. Later this morning, Fran Kelly will interview Michelle Grattan about her discussion last night with Laurie Oakes about his interview with an unnamed senior Labor figure, who wished to remain anonymous but we will call him Kevin for the purposes of this story.

    Ooooh, that's going to cause some dummy-spitting, Mr D.

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    Replies
    1. Gratts needs to get some relevance going.

      I used to find her interesting and informative on RN in the mornings, now it's an opportunity to duck off to the loo without missing anything.

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    2. Yes indeed. For a long time they have sounded like a pair of menopausal biddies having a bitch about a younger better looking women who has been more successful in her career than they have and by god they will put her in her place.

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    3. women(sic) meant woman

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    4. Misogynist comments not helpful, not funny, not needed thanks Ron. Plenty to criticise in their work, no need to resort to the schoolyard taunts. What's your problem?

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    5. This woman also thinks they sound like a pair of menopausal biddies. Fran Kelly has jumped the shark.

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    6. Well... They do sound like a bitchy pair of old women complaining about someone who is younger and more successful than them. I'm sorry, but that's just how it is. For some reason, they appear to really have it in for Gillard. Whether it's because they're as Ron says is open to speculation, but on the rare occasions I listen now I just shake my head in wonder. What has this pair got against Gillard?

      Certainly this 'challenge' has been shown to be a lot of hot air. Grattan said that Rudd was within nine votes of toppling Gillard. After Monday's drubbing any journalist pushing that sort of line would have crawled off and died of shame. But not Fran and Michelle. Nope. Straight back into it...

      Makes you want to vomit. Or change your clock radio to Red Symons...

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  7. How come you and Andrew Elder get it but not the Canberra circle jerkers….Oh wait…silly me!!

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  8. Best description of the current meta-journalism I have read, thanks Mr. D!

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  9. We have one element of Keating's Banana Republic prediction, a one party media controlled by billionaires and an army of knee pad wearing hacks prepared to thrash our democracy on behalf of their masters. No wonder they have a lower rating than second hand car sales people. Bill

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  10. Sad to say, but I think you have burnt your last bridge on the journey to the press gallery.
    Great job!
    MJC

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  11. One of these days/weeks/months/years the journalists will be right, someone will challenge, mind you it they could be wrong and it is Abbott challenging Turnbull

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  12. A few days ago, as is my wont, I was listening to ABC's Radio National Brekky when Fran Kelly sort-of interviewed 2 ALP backbenchers about the Caucus thingy.
    I say 'sort of' because she was clearly not interested in their views but was only using them to pursue her anti ALP theme of 'dissension in the ranks'.
    Not matter what the pollies said [and they mentioned actual policy eg NBN, pensions, in a vain hope I suspect that the 'interview' might be 'balanced and objective' - one of the pollies even said to Fran not to believe what was written in Murdochistan but that whooshed over her head] she asked the same question, 'dissension in the ranks', with minor variations, about 20 times.
    On and on and on she went.
    And on.

    Then on came Michelle Grattan.
    Guess what they talked about?
    Fran said that the 2 pollies were solid in their support for the PM etc but Michelle responded "Well they would say that wouldn't they?"
    Reminds me of the scene from "Life of Brian' where Brian is believed by the mob to be the messiah when he denies it, so he admits it and they still believe him.
    Brian: "I can't win either way!"

    Anyway time for ABC news on the hour.
    On comes Christopher Pyne talking about 'dissension in the ranks of the ALP". A couple of hours later, just in case you missed him the first [or second?] time, he's repeated.

    Well done ABC.




    [sarcasm]

    fred

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    Replies
    1. Comparisons of their ABC with FoxNews are fully in order.

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    2. As has been noted elsewhere, Grattan jumped the shark a while ago.

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  13. Well, Rudd is on TV resigning as Foreign Minister and, apparently [cos I'm not real interested in why] partly blaming a lack of confidence in his integrity within the party...or something like that.
    So that will make twice he has been rolled by the media.
    I suspect he might have a go at the leadership down the track, if so , that will make 3 times.

    fred

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  14. Wonderful. I wish I had described it as well.
    Thank you

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  15. ...on another note, another thank you.
    Thank you to the Australian Labor Party. The Party I've supported since I was a teenager, for this absolute shamozzle. For the likes of K.Rudd, for apparently, putting himself before anything else and thanks to Julia too, for not being able to say anything except "I'm getting on with the job" in such unconvincing terms and in a tone that sounds as though it was recorded months ago.
    This past few weeks/months has been a real eye opener.
    Thanks. You have successfully made me a cynic, something I have been avoiding for a long time.

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    Replies
    1. When were you a teenager, last year maybe? It takes a true moron to back either major party if you ask me.

      The problem no-one is nailing is that Gillard has been only putting her whole policy through the prism of "game on" with Tony Abbott.

      The rest of us have never mattered a toss to her.

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    2. Thank you. Compliment then insult. Wonderful stuff. Always good to read you remarks.
      Thanks again

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  16. Fantastic! You've somehow managed to parody something that has become a parody of itself and seemingly beyond parody.

    And it's gold... gold... gold for Mr Denmore.

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  17. So now we know. All the dissension in the ranks has been nothing more than Kevin undermining Julia by schmoozing a handful of credulous journos who think they are in the know because a disgruntled self-interested ex-PM who was rolled by his party is talking to them. And they gave him more credibility than all the rest of the Cabinet who were trying to talk about policy and government and reassure them the Cabinet was solid (apart from the one disgruntled self-interested ex-PM who was rolled by his party - the repetition is deliberate, as it has been for the last year).

    After all that fuelling, their proclaimed prophesy is now being fulfilled. Together with Rudd they have been undermining the govt since the last election and now they will have the nerve to say: "See, we told you". In fact, they only told us what Rudd wanted them to but they missed the big story, which is how they were in thrall to Rudd because he was giving them something, anything, on which to base their sensationalist headlines and bag a Labor govt.
    Basically, they were no more than "Rudd's bitches".
    The disappointing thing is that the ABC wasn't able to stand back and call it for what it was, instead opting to jump in Rudd's mud with the Murdocratic mediocrities. So much for standing apart from the herd and looking at the big picture.

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  18. The faceless men are not in the Labor Party this time, the faceless men and women are in the media. And if they're not faceless, then let them come forward and identify which of them was being briefed by Kevin.

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    Replies
    1. If you believe media reports that it was Kevin then you are as stupid as the media old mate.

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    2. Care to set the record straight with your own personal inside knowledge?

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  19. Dear Mr Denmore,anomymous other posters and lurkers,

    Please accept my apologies for posting an intemperate, gratuitous and sexist remark regarding Fran Kelly and Michelle Gratten. I realise that it may have been offensive to many and added nothing to the debate. It was derived from a growing sense of floccinaucinilhilipification regarding the mainstream Australian media.

    Anonymous when I insult someone I at least have the honesty and integrity to put my name to it. As a person who has spent virtually every waking hour over the last few years caring caring for a bed ridden mother who is now in the terminal stage of her life I find the accusation of misogyny
    somewhat amusing however I am big enough and ugly enough to take it.

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    1. The gender references were wrong. Substitute those and I think your comments could apply equally to men as women.
      In my opinion, Ms Grattan jumped the shark some time ago. The frequency of her pieces over the last couple of years suggests she is becoming increasingly worried about the coming generation and her own professional mortality at 67 years. It is becoming increasingly difficult to discern between her reporting and her analyses. She should stick to one or the other.

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  20. Mr Denmore, you've said it the best, as usual - and without the need for misogyny.

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  21. Michelle Grattan has come out of this being completely discredited. Not that long ago she was telling us that Rudd was within nine votes of victory. Fantasy, all of it. Whether Ron Pettigrew is right and it was borne of resentment at a more successful, younger woman than her, who knows. Whatever the reason, if Fairfax isn't looking to save a few hundred grand paying for her to dish up non-stories from Canberra, they're just not trying.

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